Just Ask JR: Wedding Invitations

DEAR JR,

I teach at a fairly small school. My grade-level teaching team consists of five teachers who work closely together. During the last school year, one of my team members got engaged. This year, we've had a change of staff and now have a new member on our team. My colleague has not, and does not, plan to invite this new member to her wedding, although the rest of us are invited. The save-the-dates and shower invitations have all been hand-delivered at school, making it awkward for the girl who has not been invited.

I feel it wasn't appropriate to include all but one of the team simply because she is new to the group. Am I correct in feeling that my colleague did not handle this appropriately? -- Sarah L.

Sarah,

First off let me start by saying I think all weddings are overrated and a colossal waste of time. Therefore, I'm gonna put myself in "new colleague's shoes" and pretend I was the one who didn't get invited.

My reaction?

"Who gives a fuck." Because well, I didn't want to go anyway.

Quite frankly, I don't care who is getting married. 10 out of 10 times I don't want be there. In fact, I'm gonna get up on my soap box right now and use this as a platform to remind anyone reading this, if you're about to get married and have intentions on sending me an invite, please don't. Save it for someone who actually wants to be there. Sending me an invite only means I have to manufacture some horseshit excuse as to why I can't go and, "because I don't want to" isn't socially acceptable.

I hate weddings, there's no doubt I'm gonna hate your wedding, and honestly I really don't give a shit who found love. Odds are the love you found is just one big giant charade anyway. A "look at us" convention where nobody in the god damn room would know the true definition of love if it bit them in the ass. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say the only reason this circle jerk even takes place is because, like the majority of marriages, "it was time".

That's not love. No, no it isn't. Because someone's biological clock is ticking and desperation is setting in does not mean it's love. It means it's a failed marriage waiting to happen. Better that I don't go because when the divorce papers get delivered I'll be disappointed that I attended your little shit show in the first place.

So now that we got that out of the way, I'm with you 100%.

Look, the person getting married is either a penny pinching cheap fuck or purposely snubbing her colleague on some work place power trip. It's a bitch move and the person doing it is probably gonna hide behind the excuse, "Well, I don't even know her very well. Why should I feel obligated to invite her?" She's obviously managing wedding invites like she's still in her college sorority. I mean how hard would it be to fire the new girl an invitation? Just pull up a chair.

Not hard at all. Hell, if I worked there I'd give her mine.