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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Jesus Christ, Just Pull The Plug

I'm a firm believer that in life, we all have struggles. Granted, some of us are put in worse situations than others but we're all bound and determined to face different forms of adversity. The loss of loved ones, you get fired from your job, your girlfriend left you, now you're a drug addict facing jail time. That's life. Who knows when or where these curve balls will come from but they'll come, eventually.

Nobody is getting out of this shit hole totally unscathed.

When faced with these different forms adversity, chances are some wise ass know-it-all (the guy who has it all figured out) will offer up some sound advice like, "Hey man, when you get knocked down you gotta pick yourself back up again, bro."

That's good advice. I'll buy that. We are a resilient group, us humans. Sometimes I don't think we give ourselves enough credit. "You'll get through it. Hang in there. Keep your head up." Or as my mom likes to say, "This too shall pass."

However, when it comes to this:

Pull the god damn plug. Seriously. I don't think there's any hope left. I'm not exactly sure how it gets to this point, the all time low, the point where scribbling shit all over your face is comprehensible, but while you're at it, you might as well write the words "Game Over" somewhere in there because as far as I'm concerned, this is the equivalent of waiving the white towel. The sad thing about a guy like this is that underneath it all, this dude was probably a halfway decent looking guy.

And then all hell broke loose.



Hey look, when you start walking around town with "FUCK YOU" tattooed across your forehead, like my mans right here, you're gonna have a hard time convincing me you've got any long term goals that you plan on getting accomplished. I mean how do you sit across from this guy at the Thanksgiving dinner table? How do you even address him?

"Jeez, Uncle Gary's mashed potatoes were off the hook!"

"Yeah they were. Gary is one hell of a cook. Did you taste his homemade gravy?"

"Did we meet Gary last year? Is he related to Mark and Deb?"

"No, Mark and Deb are just old friends from high school. Gary is the one with FUCK YOU tattooed across his forehead."



Jesus Harold Christ. You know what? I'm not even gonna blame this poor son of a bitch for this one. That's not his fault. I blame the tattoo artist because I gotta be honest, if I'm a tattoo artist and some guy walks in one day and is like, "Yo, it's like this son, I'm looking to get a fat checkerboard tattooed across my face..."

I'm not doing it.

Not on my watch.

If you want to look like an asshole with a checkerboard tattooed across your face, that's fine. But I'm not having any part of it. I mean look at this fuckin' guy.

Pull the plug.