Earthquake Preparedness

I'm a firm believer that after every single catastrophic event, there's lessons to be learned as well as precautions to take. For example, just yesterday a portion of Japan was devastated by a magnitude 8.9 earthquake and a tsunami that followed. Now if you live in Jump Dick North Dakota maybe the threat of a major earthquake doesn't keep you awake at night, but if you live in California, it's not a matter of "if" as much as it is when.

Lets be honest, if you've been keeping score over the past, I dunno, 10 years, you simply can't deny that there's been an increasing number of earthquakes popping off all over the world. Big quakes. Quakes that aren't fucking around. Haiti, Chile, New Zealand, Japan. Who is next, Los Angeles? San Francisco? Portland? Seattle?

There's also an increasing amount of volcanic action going on.

Now I don't know how many geological "experts" will tell you this, and certainly I'm not one of them, but remember what I tell you slap nuts because I know my shit. Anytime you see a volcano erupt somewhere on earth, you can bet your ass a big earthquake is soon to follow. It's like thunder and lighting.

Now I'm not here to stir up fear, or climb up on a pedestal and scream "THE END IS NEAR!!!" all I'm saying is that if you live in California, you would be dumber than a bag of hammers to sit around with your thumb up your butt hole and practice the "It won't happen to me" mentality.

It is going to happen. So take precaution.

The first thing you should do is draw up an earthquake escape route. Think about it. When an earthquake strikes, most people freeze up in fear and start looking at the walls and ceilings, waiting for shit to drop. If you have small kids in the house, you simply don't have time to freeze up and pretend it's a god damn 4th of July fireworks show. You need to act fast!

The second the earth starts quaking you need to get off your ass and execute the plan of attack. Collar those kids and get to a safe place. You should have no problems sizing up your turf and finding a safe zone in your house. It's your call.

Secondly, and most importantly, people should start thinking about tying down all large pieces of furniture in their house and they should start thinking about doing that yesterday. Earthquakes don't kill people, falling entertainment systems and pianos kill people.

There's no better time than now as OSH (Orchard Supply Hardware) is having a "We'll Pick Up The Sales Tax" event this weekend, so get in there and get what you need to get to tie some of that shit down.

God bless you all.